I just finished a really amazing book: "Wrestling with an Angel, A story of Love, Disability and the Lessons of Grace" by Greg Lucas. It is a short book, only 100 pages, but it is powerful. The author of a book is a father who has a son with some very significant needs. I cried several times while reading the book. It touched my heart. I want to share some things from the book that really spoke to me.
I hear religious-minded people say all the time with good intentions, "God will never place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot carry it."
Really?
My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone. He will break your back and your will. He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load. All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him.
"My power is made perfect in your weakness," He says, as we strain under our burden.
Whatever the burden, it might indeed get worse, but I know this-God is faithful. And while we change and get old, He does not. When we get weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness and humility, He offers us true, lasting, and transforming, and undeserved grace.
It is this grace that enables us to do more than survive in this world. Grace enables us to thrive in the presence of this world's sufferings while magnifying the One who breaks us with affliction-that He might equip us with comfort, compassion, and strength to give to others. (page 14-15)
I used to think that God would never give me more than I could handle. I have learned in the last few years that this idea is not true, and it's not biblical. Nowhere in God's word does it say that Christians will have never face suffering, or trials, or pain, or sickness or heartbreak. I believe that God often gives us far more than we could ever handle on our own. It is during those times of pain that God is there to help us, and to even carry us when needed.
While reading this book, I really reflected on the last few years. I believe I have faced some of the toughest trials of my life specifically in the last 6 years. Everything from Caleb having Spina Bifida to losing 2 precious babies in 2007 and Benjamin's emergency arrival leading to a hysterectomy. I admit that I was angry at God during these trials. After my second pregnancy loss, I didn't speak to God for days. I was hurt and absolutely furious that He allowed such a thing to happen. I felt like the rug had been completely pulled out from under me when I lost the first baby and right when I was beginning to pick myself back up, I was knocked down again by the second loss. And to be honest, Spina Bifida absolutely beats me down some days. So I have those days where I ask: Why?
I know He loves me and cares for me, but sometimes I cannot understand this strange affection. What kind of love is it that brings so much pain into my life-especially from a sovereign being who has the power to make all things right. And so, by nature, I resist the One who ultimately has designed all these difficult conditions for my good and for His glory. (page 18)
Have I allowed these trials to bring glory to God? I wonder if I have.
The book isn't just about having a child with special needs, it is about humility and discovering God's grace during our trials, and even in our everyday life.
Truth is, you never know when or where the breeze of God's blessing is going to blow. Grace is like that-unexpected, undeserved, and unpredictable. (page 27)
Grace, even in the small things of life, is never small grace. (page 29)
I absolutely loved what he had to say about humility.
Truth is, we are often so self-centered that we fail to notice the most significant and God-glorifying aspects of what's taking place around us. We miss out on a lot of human joy and deep inner satisfaction because we are so tied up with personal cares. But Jake (author's son) can shift my focus away from my superficial concerns and force me to reflect on what is most important. As I am caught up in the reality of his limitations, I am reminded of how small and secondary most of my personal concerns really are.
Throughout the Bible, though, God uses weakness to define strength, and He uses humility to display greatness. Whether it is a stuttering goat herder who takes on an Egyptian Pharaoh and leads a nation to the Promised Land, or a small boy slaying a sword-wielding giant with a sling and a stone, weakness is God's tool to shame the strong. And when the King of the universe became a man-even the servant of men, laying down His life for the very sinners that spit in His face-humility displayed greatness like the world had never seen. (pages 32-33)
I got serious goosebumps on that last sentence.
I know this is a long post and I wonder how many of you will actually read this all the way through but I had to share my thoughts. This blog is like a journal to me and this book impacted me in ways I don't want to forget. I needed to read this book right now. I have really been struggling lately and this book helped me work through some things. My mind has been consumed lately with things that don't really matter in the big scheme of things. I have this need to control and fix things...but I just can't. I needed to be reminded of God's grace and the strength that only He can provide me. I need to be reminded that He is in control and He is so much bigger than any problem, issue, crisis, or trial that I am facing. I just see a few pieces of the puzzle but God knows what the finished picture looks like. I am so lacking on my own, it is God that gives me what I need for the day. I just need to be reminded of that from time to time. It's easy to get in a routine and just strive to get through the day and forget that God is eager and willing to help me. All I have to do is ask.
"It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear of be dismayed."
Deuteronomy 31:8
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
The book isn't just about having a child with special needs, it is about humility and discovering God's grace during our trials, and even in our everyday life.
Truth is, you never know when or where the breeze of God's blessing is going to blow. Grace is like that-unexpected, undeserved, and unpredictable. (page 27)
Grace, even in the small things of life, is never small grace. (page 29)
I absolutely loved what he had to say about humility.
Truth is, we are often so self-centered that we fail to notice the most significant and God-glorifying aspects of what's taking place around us. We miss out on a lot of human joy and deep inner satisfaction because we are so tied up with personal cares. But Jake (author's son) can shift my focus away from my superficial concerns and force me to reflect on what is most important. As I am caught up in the reality of his limitations, I am reminded of how small and secondary most of my personal concerns really are.
Throughout the Bible, though, God uses weakness to define strength, and He uses humility to display greatness. Whether it is a stuttering goat herder who takes on an Egyptian Pharaoh and leads a nation to the Promised Land, or a small boy slaying a sword-wielding giant with a sling and a stone, weakness is God's tool to shame the strong. And when the King of the universe became a man-even the servant of men, laying down His life for the very sinners that spit in His face-humility displayed greatness like the world had never seen. (pages 32-33)
I got serious goosebumps on that last sentence.
I know this is a long post and I wonder how many of you will actually read this all the way through but I had to share my thoughts. This blog is like a journal to me and this book impacted me in ways I don't want to forget. I needed to read this book right now. I have really been struggling lately and this book helped me work through some things. My mind has been consumed lately with things that don't really matter in the big scheme of things. I have this need to control and fix things...but I just can't. I needed to be reminded of God's grace and the strength that only He can provide me. I need to be reminded that He is in control and He is so much bigger than any problem, issue, crisis, or trial that I am facing. I just see a few pieces of the puzzle but God knows what the finished picture looks like. I am so lacking on my own, it is God that gives me what I need for the day. I just need to be reminded of that from time to time. It's easy to get in a routine and just strive to get through the day and forget that God is eager and willing to help me. All I have to do is ask.
"It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear of be dismayed."
Deuteronomy 31:8
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
13 comments:
Thank you for sharing these thoughts that I have felt so deeply, but could not explain. I know God is everything. There were so many days when He was all I could live for, because my burden was just too hard for me to handle alone. Those days make me realize how great He is, and I can never thank Him enough for holding me and comforting me when my pain was too deep for me to share. He has shown me love that surpasseth all understanding and He has given me great friends, like you, to share this journey with. :)
Cassie, thank you so much for this post!! I'm going to get this book. I have been struggling lately too. You reminded me that I need to let God carry my burdens and to stop doing things in my own strength, which isn't really strength at all.
Have a blessed day!
I understand, we each have those times when we forget that our GOD is waiting (sadly) for us to call out and reach out for His help.
momakat
I am so glad you shared I too try to want to control and just make it better but forget the big picture. So thank you for sharing I am going to get this book.
WOW. This absolutely spoke to my heart so personally. So many have said the phrase you mentioned about God not giving more than I can handle....but I know better, and I can't. Only the Lord can, and I can only handle it when I am fully leaning on Him. That is my biggest weakness too... leaning on Him. But that is what He desires me to do and that is the only time that I can truly have the joy he wishes for me. In my strength is only worry, fear, hurt, questions.
Thank you friend. I am going to get this work.. I have goosebumps from your excerpts... CANNOT wait to read it.
Really good stuff.
beautiful. the first part you shared, about carrying burdens that in fact are too heavy for us was perfect. i was having this discussion with a friend just the other day. people say that to me and i think..."you are wrong, because i can't possibly do this, at least not alone." I'm grateful, and sometimes frustrated, with a loving Father who knows far more than I do...who knows what I need to progress to where I need to be -- spiritually -- for me and my family.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I will look forward to reading this book. Something I need for myself as well.
Hi Cassie,
Thank you for sharing, and for sharing the excerpts from the book; I have too struggled when people say that to me - "Got won't give you more than you can handle." Well, actually He has (or life has)...who in their right mind can "handle" all (we - as in you, us) have. But, I believe as the author says, He gives you the strength to have - and to have joy and peace in the middle of the chaos - that's the amazing, crazy thing!
Thank you for sharing; I finally got the chance to sit and process the words. Miss you dear friend.
Love,
Carrie
I love your sincere posts! I will read this book. I too, have struggled with the "whys". But now feel that they don't matter so much to me. Have you read "The Shack"?? OMG I feel that book stirred something in me that had never been touched! It had word written that I have felt, but never expressed. I think about the book often. I plan to read the book you speak of also. You are a blessing to me.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I have taken comfort in that saying He won't give you a burden that you can't bare but I like this idea behind it even more then just thinking I am strong enough for anything that will come my way. I like that He gives us trials so that we will remember him in our time of need.
This isn't coming out the way I want. I have such a hard time writing out in words my thoughts.
Anyway Thanks for your inspiration today!
I needed to read this today! I'm feeling emotional and crazy and out of control in so many areas and I feel stupid that I can't get a grip and do it all. My husband sweetly reminded me last night, as I bawled on his shoulder after bitting his poor head off:(, that... maybe that's the point, maybe God wants me to remember I'm NOT in control and I CAN'T do it all on my own. I'll be getting this book and a new highlighter!:) Can I also link it to my blog?
How great is our God and how true is His love and grace. Whatever He has promised He will deliver and will not fail. The lyrics of two hymns come to mind: Constantly Abiding and Great Is Thy Faithfulness. Truly, there is no shadow of God turning; He changest not and His compassions faileth not. He will be ever loving, merciful and unchanging.The Lord's our Shepherd, what shall we want?
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